Mum Escaped!!!

So this weekend was one that I’d been waiting on for a while . . .  I was escaping my family and going out . .  alone!!!!  Well not ALONE or that would be a pretty sad night out, but without my family!!!  Woo hoo!! I was going out with other Mum escapees who were equally as excited about the prospect of an entire meal sitting down!!  No juice orders mid meal or picking up our fellow dinners food from the floor! Hopefully!

The drinks weren’t a main priority for me, the food was the main attraction for this foodie!  Foodie implies I have a preference for good food when actually I’m just a lover of food! All food! Any food!  Especially food made for me by someone else! If I haven’t had to make the food, then I’m going to like it!  Thats a given!


I’ve skipped ahead a bit though! This escape mission didn’t take place untill Saturday night!! So lets rewind a bit . . .

Friday night, about 11pm, I had the usual self debate that I have the night before every night out as to whether I should apply self tan (when I’m about ready to fall asleep standing up!) or just go to bed (untanned) and feel like an albino cauliflour when it comes time to go out the following evening!  Andrew knows the drill and to save his ears from my moaning the following night he ordered me to go slather my body in stinky brown mess!  Baring in mind he has to sleep next to me, this is a pretty noble act I feel!  So with a golden glow imminent that’s me gone from a measly 2/10 to a solid 4/10 in a good light tomorrow! Hold on to your husbands ladies! 😉 Jokes!! 2 Husbands is enough for any lifetime!!

Saturday morning its my turn to get up with Elle and give Andrew a long lie.  Since, as he put it ,I’ll be “too shit faced to get up with her Sunday morning after my night out!”  Charming!! As if this earth Mother would be anything other than an attentive, nurturing, ray of sunshine of a Sunday morning!  So I get up with Elle and potter around doing “jobs.”      We used to call poos “jobbies” when we were little and we used to laugh when our granny would tell us she was going to do some “jobs.”  I still think of that now when I do some “jobs” in the house! Hehe!  Anyway I digress!! So I do some jobs (hehe!) like empty the dishwasher etc then do my nails for going out, and say a silent prayer that they don’t break in the 9 hours of toddler taming I have to contend with, before I get to go out, and just be a lady and not just a Mum for a bit!  Ok maybe not a lady (I’m not totally deluded) but a woman at least!  See obligatory nail photo (which always makes one look like one is performing a rude act on an invisible body part!  If your reading this mum I mean a chinese burn ok!)



I also started reading the book in the photo, with a view to writing a review on it but my life hasn’t been changed as the title suggests so I may not bother with the review! Well actually that’s kind of a mini review isn’t it!

Is this book life changing? No! The end!

So once Andrew joined the downstairs party! (ooh this is a rude blog today!! No not that downstairs!! You lot have filthy minds!!)  I mean our kitchen obviously!!  We had our usual Saturday morning Coffee and croissants! As apposed to my pain au chocolate break, Monday to Friday! Because I feel its important to keep my diet balanced!



Oh there’s that cheeky book again . . still not changing my life!

In the afternoon we decided to try out a tea room in a village not too far from our own which is a converted post office!


It was really lovely and very civilised in comparison to the night ahead of me!  Elle was so good and sat nicely in her high chair the whole time!

By the time we got home I had 45 minutes to get in the shower and make myself presentable to the outside world!  compared with a school day 45 minutes would be a breeze!IMG_5542

Here I am wearing some “jazzy breeks” as my friend Emma would say! “Breeks” are a Scottish term for trousers, for anyone who isn’t accustomed to a pair of Breeks!

I had told myself I would just have one glass of wine with my meal and not stay out too late.  I don’t know what it is about being “let out” for the night when you’re a mum but it feels like you have to treat it like the last night of your life!!! I ate a fillet steak dinner, drunk more cocktails than I can remember and danced like I was competing in some Guiness world record for the most unconventional body movements for the longest consecutive time!  All in all a successful night!!


Sunday morning . . . I was dieing!!!! Why did I drink so much?!!

But mum life means you’ve got to suck it up (to quote a wise friend) and get on with it! So a couple paracetamols and some unusually healthy breakfast later I’m getting ready for a 2nd Birthday party of the beautiful daughter of our good friends.

Breakfast in the garden to hide my hungover self from my family!

I feel I may have inadvertently stumbled accross a secret hangover cure that has gone previously undiscovered . . . kids party food!!  I don’t think I have ever enjoyed bacon frazzle crisps and cocktail sausages quite as much!! Can we class that as a mum tip when it’s in relation to the Mum being a bit of a booze hound?! Lets keep that one in our inner circle, Ok friends! 😉

And so ends another weekend!! Its only taken me till Tuesday to recover enough to be able to write about booze without feeling nauseated, but it was certainly worth it!!

Now to plan my next escape!!

Thanks for reading!!

Amy xxx


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