Feeling the pressure!

So yesterday I took a day off blogging to enjoy Elle’s Birthday! Andrew had the day off work so we had a rare day together where we had no plans, so we could just do as we pleased! Bliss! Caitlin was in school unfortunately but it meant we could do “boring” things she wouldn’t enjoy like driving around looking at the scenery while Elle napped in the car.

 

If I’m being honest I needed a day off of blogging as I’ve been feeling the pressure a bit! When I wrote my first blog post a week and a half ago, it felt so therapeutic to put my thoughts out there into the world (not thinking anyone would be interested in reading them.) But I had such a wonderful response from people saying they enjoyed reading my posts and that they found them really funny! I feel honoured that anyone would take time in their busy lives to read what I’ve written. With that I feel a responsibility to give those who have taken the time to read my blog something interesting to read, and make them laugh! But I’m not sure I’m up to that challenge! Some days I DO actually remember my trolley token or my baby doesn’t fart loudly in a lift with strangers and those days are a victory for me but make for boring reading! So my thoughts are . . A) I could try to use this as an opportunity to start doing more interesting things to document or B) write about my boring life and hope people stick with me! I am the worst at trying to be something I’m not! I decide I’m going to stop being a slob and get fit and it lasts a week, tops! I think I’ll start making an effort to take off my make-up before bed and cleanse, who am I kidding! So I think the only option is to be myself and some days I might be funny, but some days I might not.

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I might not always do exciting or funny things but I’d like it if you’d stay with me as I muddle along this whole blogging journey. So starting today I’m going to pretend no one is reading what Im writing (not a huge amount of imagination needed since most of my readers are probably family members or friends who feel obliged to read) and hope for the best!  That’s all any of us can do in life really I guess, be ourselves and hope people like us. And if they don’t . . . well there’s always cats. Im not really a pet person so I could be f**ked! Oh and I also swear! Sorry about that! Im always trying to look at myself and my faults and be a better person but swearing is the one hurdle I can’t get over Im afraid!! Im getting better but sometimes theres no other word to beat a swear! I do not swear in front of (other people’s) kids though! and I never blaspheme so I like to think that God looks on me favourably for that and overlooks the F word! Theres also my lack of fitness! Swearing and my lack of fitness that’s my two things! I guess healthy eating is a problem for me too but that kind of comes under fitness?! Ok three things if we’re being pedantic! Those are my three things ok!!! Im also working on my patience because Im not very good at keeping my patience! I lose it easily, especially with the people I love which I hate and feel guilty about afterwards! Okaaaay so theres more than the swearing, theres a few things!! But Im working on them. Kind of. Not so much working on them as being aware of them and putting them on my mental to-do list but I think thats a good first step!!

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So this is imperfect me. At 31 years old I’ve kind of come to accept who I am, mostly. I will keep taking stock of myself and try to make sure Im doing my best to be a good person and a good role model to the girls but some bad habits are harder to break than others!

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So what did I do yesterday when I was shamelesly neglecting my blogging duties? Well we did my favourite thing, eating!!! We took a run in the car to a “relaxed eatery” which I must say I’ve found anything but relaxing in the past as it’s always packed with people and I have a baby & an eight year old, who talks at me constantly, the worst combination in a busy environment!! So yesterday was actually very pleasant, with it being a work/school day it was reasonably quiet and Elle being a big one year old now was much easier to have lunch with! She enjoyed eating herself from her kids box and watching everyone around her!

She was so comfortable she felt able to have a huge poo during our meal (complete with red face and loud grunting!) Andrew and I enjoyed some posh grub which Caitlin would have told us looked disgusting and smelled funny but as she was at school we could enjoy our food without feeling like we were eating something off of “I’m a Celebrity get me out of here!” It was so nice to be away from the everyday grind of life and actually be able to eat a meal and have a conversation. Andrew and I haven’t been out (alone) together since Elle was born a year ago. We really need to make time for that! I’ll add it to the mental to-do list after “less swearing”!


Andrew and I having observed how pleasant it is to enjoy a civilised lunch, then retreated to the usual nappy debate of, “well i do it everyday so its your turn”, “well I did the last one” until one of us guilts the other one into changing her rotten bottom! Then on the return of Andrew and Elle (I won!) we discuss the nappy, as you do over lunch!
“Was it runny or ok? I thought it smelled like the last time!”,
“No it was more sticky and kind of bitty, u know!”
“Oh yeah it was like that yesterday too!” as I bite into my lunch unfazed by our poop discussion! This is what you become when you have a baby! Disgusting!! You become disgusting!!

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such a lovely loo!

And so that was my day yesterday! Oh I forgot to mention that we went along to baby group in the morning and Daddy came along too! I think he enjoyed the cuppa and cake and Elle was as good as gold while I chatted to my mum friends! So that ruins my ruse that I have such a hard day looking after a baby! Dammit!

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Ok I’ve let Elle nap too long now while Ive been writing! Oops! I’ll pay for that at bedtime!

Thanks for reading!!

Amy xxx

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